“What would be your plan in a zombie apocalypse?”

It’s quite simple actually. I’d let one bite me so I could join them and destroy their organization from the inside.

“Do I need to ask my mom permission to hire you?”

Valid question. However, unless your mom happens to be your Executive Creative Director or Head of Human Resources, no direct permission from her is ever required.

“Can I contact you through carrier pidgeon?”

My coms system does not currently support it. However, I’ll be sure to let my IT guy update it as soon as pidgeonly possible.

For now, contact me at agarciamillan@gmail.com or download my CV.

“How do you go about conflict resolution?”

According to a 2026 study by Hoax University, “Rock, Paper, Scissors” has been proofed to be the most effective technique for such issues.

“Are you a robot or cyborg of any kind?”

Well, I do need charging at night and coffee to run, and I almost always get the “Are you a robot” captcha wrong. Other than that, I’d say I’m pretty much human.

“Do you come with an instructions manual?”

I don’t. But don’t worry. There’s no need for one. I come fully assembled right out of the box.

“Are you three mouses pretending to be a person?”

We are not. We are just one person. We have nothing to do with that portrait. We do have a very similar trench coat to that of the picture and we also happen to really like cheese.

“Do you accept made-up currencies as payment?”

My bank doesn’t currently allow for anything else but real money. I have already discussed this issue with my bank manager but, for whatever reason, he insists on real money. Maybe I ought to change banks.

“What if I cannot pronnunce your name right?”

We should then brainstorm and come up with a cool nickname. Something easier. I’m thinking something along the lines of “Alvs” or “A.G”. Unless you are Spanish, then “Álvaro” is good enough.

“Are you involved with García Millán gazpachos?”

I get this a lot. Unfortunately, I cannot deny nor confirm any rumours regarding my involvement in Spain’s most famous brand of gazpachos.

“Where do you usually get your ideas from?”

My houseplants. They are a different breed from the usuals; Ideaum Trees. You can think of them like ChatGPT only smarter and greener. In fact, they are so smart they water themselves, on their own.